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Monday, November 6, 2006

Absurd


I fully recognize the problematic nature of posting this, and any other image for that matter, on this here internet. But I have to say, this is my blog, and I'll do what I wan't. If you don't like it, don't read it. Nonetheless, It does feel kind of Myspace to be broadcasting the contents of one's own mirror. And maybe there is a part of me that lingers still in adolescence, a desultory and petulant teenager...trying to find my way in this world of diminished expectations. When you think about it, adults aren't really that much different from teenagers, and, as a point of fact I believe that they are less honest..mostly because they are better at playing power games and doing things that need to be done versus things that should be done. Sometimes I wan't to harness that inner teenager and let him run rampant among the ruins. He could read the tombstones and then piss on them...writing his name in the fresh snow. But then I remember I don't live in that world anymore...and could never go back. This would be tantamount to suicide.

It's been unseasonably warm here in LA, the Santa Ana winds have been blowing a hot dry air across the basin. At night I drive home down Washington Blvd. and then through the Alameda corridor- a twisted and endless landscape of looming industrial infrastructure, a flowing artery of commerce feeding into the hungry veins of America. In the past 6 years I've done this route thousands of times, and never once is it the same. I try to remember the past, but the tragic truth is that it comes only in bits and pieces. The majority of experience is lost like water flowing through a sieve. What remains are misshapen and odd nuggets of memory. It makes me think of the beautiful absurdity that seems to define existence. There is an infinite ritual we all participate in...a daily routine if you will. Wake up and repeat. Lately I've been thinking it might be nice to shake things up and be a little reckless..in the end all it really amounts to is a bizarre and colorful absurdist theatre. So why not? What is there really to lose anyhow?

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